I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you would pick up someone in the library
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
