I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
