WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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