you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
