I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
