It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
