i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
