I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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