she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
