Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
