idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
