it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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