Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
