its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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