i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she smelled like a LAN party
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
