Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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