hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
