I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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