You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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