I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
