Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
