in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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