you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
