She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
