I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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