that's an acceptable place to lick
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
