the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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