She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
