I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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