white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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