You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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