At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
