Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
