I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
