YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
