every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
