hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
