i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
