I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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