I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish I only lived at night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
