The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also, beer. Big fan.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
