watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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