actually, I'm a sock model
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
