Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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