oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
