The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
