There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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