I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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