The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
