Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
