So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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