i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
