I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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